"The Dancer's Dead"

You really couldn't make this crap up. Barbara Radnofsky has written a book. That's right. A memoir. A biography. A tome.

It's called "The Dancer's Dead."

...I will pause while the reader rolls through several fits of hysterical laughter...

Yes, folks, Barbara Radnofsky has decided that she is worthy to join Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and the long litany of politicians to write a memoir. And what makes her worthy? Why, defeating Gene Kelly, of course.

"How did a wife, mother, teacher and first-time political candidate become the first person in history to win the Democratic nomination of the Texas Democratic Party for U.S. Senate?" Radnofsky writes.

Hmm...Tough question there, BAR. Maybe because the Democratic party is such a pathetic shell of its former self that they didn't have a credible candidate who could run.

"Her victory, in a Texas-wide primary and runoff, over a man bearing the same name as one of the most famous Hollywood dancer-entertainers in history, is a series of 500-plus adventures in this entertaining, readable chronicle."

Uh...Okaaay...

So Barbara Radnofsky beat Gene Kelly. That is her big achievement? She spent $800,000 in the primary to beat a dead actor who spent nothing other than the filing fee for the office? And now she only has $300,000 left? Talk about poor fiscal management. Or maybe Barbara Ann was just buying 15 minutes of fame - with other people's money.

Jesus Christ, if I were a Democratic Donor, I'd be hitting the roof. They donated over $1 million to buy a diamond and they sure got Cubic Zirconium with that investment.

And by the way, nobody who doesn't watch Lawrence Welk even knows who Gene Kelly was. Certainly nobody under 40.

Another Radnofsky gem:

"While making the 675-mile drive to Canadian, Texas, we saved an injured western Grebe floundering out in the middle of US 83 in the Panhandle. Once safely inside the car, it bled all over my campaign clothes."

This is sheer nuttiness. You must indeed have an ego the size of Godzilla's gonads to think that anyone gives a damn, and then to write a book on top of it is just plain insane.

Of course, writing a book is a lot easier than selling a book, which it seems, Radnofsky is not doing much of. She's published it on the well-known self-publishing site, lulu.com. As of today, when I checked, it's rocketed to No. 202 on the lulu.com bestseller's list, well behind such classic titles as:

Sam, World's Ugliest Dog (9)
The Smartipants' Guide to the AP Environmental Science Exam (24)
How to Start a Wedding Planning Business (33)
The Best Way to Stay Healthy: Stay as Far Away from Doctors as you can, Vol. I. (42)
and
The Authoritative Encyclopedia of Scientific Wrestling (90)

Uh oh, watch out Tom Clancy!

Well, here's the link, if you're interested. And boy, are those reviewers just bowled away with her style and charm. (Of course, I'm one of the reviewers, so you can guess how that goes).

http://www.lulu.com/content/447629